well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
