we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Text me some of your sweat
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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