I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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