WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.