The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once