There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.