Texts From Last Night

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  (972): View more from Texas

  I'm scared

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.

  (972): View more from Texas

  That's what I'm afraid of

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  (972): I'm scared (337): There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size. (972): That's what I'm afraid of http://tfl.nu/7af7
  Replies (16) Good night (703) Bad night (3757)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.

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  (310): If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth. http://tfl.nu/s1or
  Replies (14) Good night (894) Bad night (2547)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.

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  (503): the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me. http://tfl.nu/obxv
  Replies (38) Good night (5368) Bad night (853)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!

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  (508): i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah! http://tfl.nu/c18w
  Replies (10) Good night (3386) Bad night (1055)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  there were a lot.

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  (918): thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am... (1-918): there were a lot. http://tfl.nu/x7ld
  Replies (29) Good night (6441) Bad night (990)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.

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  (660): I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym. http://tfl.nu/tj7a
  Replies (7) Good night (3550) Bad night (834)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"

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  (267): Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone" http://tfl.nu/ni9u
  Replies (16) Good night (1114) Bad night (3501)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing

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  (940): This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing http://tfl.nu/18y7
  Replies (9) Good night (2352) Bad night (937)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.

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  (619): I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner. http://tfl.nu/1na9
  Replies (8) Good night (2141) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you

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  (612): Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you http://tfl.nu/lizp
  Replies (7) Good night (2659) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.

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  (506): Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11. http://tfl.nu/fzyl
  Replies (3) Good night (2161) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Im coming down to miami this weekend

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  We shall drink from the everclear river

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  (330): Im coming down to miami this weekend (1-330): We shall drink from the everclear river http://tfl.nu/wehk
  Replies (2) Good night (735) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.

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  (978): We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment. http://tfl.nu/8gpy
  Replies (8) Good night (2076) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN

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  (574): LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN http://tfl.nu/j386
  Replies (1) Good night (457) Bad night (171)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.

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  (847): This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends. http://tfl.nu/w6fi
  Replies (4) Good night (411) Bad night (298)

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