Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?

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  (310): Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while? http://tfl.nu/my43
  Replies (3) Good night (887) Bad night (1593)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF

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  (203): THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF http://tfl.nu/hsyz
  Replies (20) Good night (3879) Bad night (1180)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.

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  (631): I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens. http://tfl.nu/64xb
  Replies (43) Good night (4394) Bad night (811)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.

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  (404): It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more. http://tfl.nu/2mzd
  Replies (17) Good night (1414) Bad night (7892)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.

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  (253): The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued. http://tfl.nu/lx8b
  Replies (21) Good night (4983) Bad night (1484)
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  (562): View more from California

  sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone

  (1-562): View more from California

  there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue

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  (562): sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone (1-562): there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue http://tfl.nu/8olm
  Replies (9) Good night (904) Bad night (2506)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!

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  (407): There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?! http://tfl.nu/z97b
  Replies (11) Good night (3133) Bad night (1002)
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  (835): View more from Pennsylvania

  The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving

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  (835): The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving http://tfl.nu/ks9z
  Replies (7) Good night (2367) Bad night (763)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop

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  (908): Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop http://tfl.nu/suxm
  Replies (12) Good night (2057) Bad night (843)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?

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  (603): She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep? http://tfl.nu/8ccn
  Replies (11) Good night (1464) Bad night (697)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples

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  (401): Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples http://tfl.nu/s1gx
  Replies (2) Good night (1540) Bad night (515)
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  (718): View more from New York

  Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.

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  (718): Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover. http://tfl.nu/imva
  Replies (5) Good night (1809) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.

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  (310): Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it. http://tfl.nu/jpod
  Replies (5) Good night (1226) Bad night (510)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.

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  (701): Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client. http://tfl.nu/dueq
  Replies (6) Good night (1730) Bad night (472)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen

  (1-804): View more from Virginia

  summertime

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  (804): One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen (1-804): summertime http://tfl.nu/un7q
  Replies (3) Good night (656) Bad night (260)

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