God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Let's paint friendship bongs
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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