sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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