My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
