i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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