If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
