I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
