My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
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I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
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