He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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