My room smells like vodka and shame
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
