If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
