check it out our google latitudes are spooning
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize