Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
