Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
