Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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