you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
