if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
