So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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