she was so not down for the gang bang
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
