well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
