apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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