My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
