How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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