im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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