question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
