i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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