He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
