I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
