You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Randomize
