Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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