my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
