not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
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