i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
they call him Oral-B. enough said
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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