you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
