Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
