I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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