Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
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Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
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I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.