I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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