your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.