Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
