she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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