It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
