the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize