Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
