you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize