She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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