It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
