So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize