There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
