He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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