I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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