I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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