I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
