Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Who died my cat blue again?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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