I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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