god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
