Just fell off a train. Bad.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm just crazy horny about you
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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