Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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