He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
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As long as you're not dating white guys again.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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