You smell like stripper and shame
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize