No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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